Tuesday, April 20, 2010


ade sape2 nak ke?

Saturday, April 17, 2010


mak gua penah cakap...jangan sekali2 coba untuk menipu beliau...bencana akan berlaku...

ok...gua memang rasa terancam ngan ugutan mak gua...tapi itu tidak menghalang gua untuk mencoba...

first time gua coba menipu...gua eksiden
second time gua coba menipu...gua kene tahan polis
third time gua coba menipu...gua eksiden sekali lagi
yang lain2 takleh diberitahu...rahsia

gua penah dengar pepatah...orang yang bijak belajar daripada pengalaman orang lain...orang yang pandai belajar daripada pengalaman diri sendiri...orang yang bodoh nak mampus tak penah belajar dari pengalaman diri sendiri or orang lain...

disebabkan gua terdiri daripada golongan yang bijak dan pandai...
so gua da tak coba untuk menipu mak gua lagi...


time2 gua tengah stadi untuk final isnin ni...gua pikir balik ape yang gua achieve sepanjang hidup gua selama 23 taun ni...dan gua kecewa...sebab gua rasa macam takde bende yang gua boleh banggakan selama gua bernafa kat muka bumi ni...gua hanya mengikut sistem yang di suap kepada gua...sama seperti rakan2 gua yang lain...apa yang gua buat selama ni hanyalah seperti mengikut buku manual seperti yang lu orang dapat bila beli laptop dan gadget2 yang agak memeningkan kepala sendiri...lu bukak mukasurat 1...lu akan dapat arahan buat macam ni...dan yang selebihnya lu paham2 sendiri laa...

apa yang gua maksudkan ialah...bila lu berumur 5 taun lu kene masuk tadika...umur 7 taun masuk sekolah rendah...dan bila umur lu 13 taun lu masuk sekolah menengah lak...lepas je sekolah menengah baru la lu akan dapat pilihan...samada lu nak amik diploma, tingkatan 6, matrikulasi atau sijil2 dan sebagainya macam sijil, kolej komuniti etc2...pastu lu akan amik degree,master dan phd...semua ni da macam diprogramkan kepada kita semua...nak tak nak kita kene ikut jugak sebab kita asyik kene ugut samada lu sedar atau tak dari kecik lagi...

'lu kene belajar rajin2...baru dapat kerja elok2...'bak kata cikgu tadika gua dulu

tapi sekarang gua macam kene tipu bulat2 ngan cikgu tadika gua...dia tipu...kalo lu tak belajar elok2 pun lu boleh dapat kerja yang bagus...jangan percaya cikgu tadika...diorang tipu...cakap kat adik2 korang sume...selepas 18 taun baru gua sedar...jangan biarkan adik2 lu tertipu macam gua

Monday, April 12, 2010



dengar suara tu punya signature je gua da tau da sape
macam sekilas ikan di air da tau mane jantan betina
mintak maap kalo peribahasa gua salah
gua memang fail sket bab2 peribahasa melayu
gua bukan budak seni
tak paham sangat

berbalik kepada cerita asal...
gua tercari2 mana suara tu datang
pusing kanan...tak nampak orang
pusing kiri...takde gak
mebi kat belakang gua kot
gua pusing laju2
takde gak
demit...gua buat tatau je...perjalanan harus diteruskan

baru je gua nak menapak


dem...apebende la maghrib2 ni nak mintak tolong kat gua neh
gua pusing2 lagi macam tadi cari punca mana suara tu datang

gua ternampak satu benda yang gua syak punca sebenar suara sumbang tu
gua tengok bawah

'laaaa...ape la yang lu suke sangat duduk dalam longkang malam2 neh?'macam biase laa...tanye sambil giggle2 gitu

'pale lutut lu gua suke...gua eksiden ni...wheelie tak lepas...termasuk dalam longkang...dalam lak tu...gua tak sampai nak panjat...'sedih suare membe gua sorang ni

gua sambung gelak lagi sambil meminta tolong orang2 kampung

paranoid android

Rain down, rain down
Come on rain down on me
From a great height
From a great height... height...
Rain down, rain down
Come on rain down on me
From a great height
From a great height... height...
Rain down, rain down
Come on rain down on me

That's it sir
You're leaving
The crackle of pigskin
The dust and the screaming
The yuppies networking
The panic, the vomit
The panic, the vomit
God loves his children, God loves his children

i just love this part of song
the melody, the lyrics, the voice

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Living life

I have absolutely no figures to hand but would hazard a guess that golf is by far the most dangerous pastime in which you can indulge.

Bing Crosby is the most famous casualty of this absurd hobby but he is by no means alone. My uncle went West on the fairway and I'm fairly sure that every weekend, some red-faced freemason curls up his toes somewhere between the fifth and sixth greens.

I once have an argue with my friend, John Peng because of golf. I,ve told him that golf is usually played by old, fat people who have not done any form of exercise since living school back in the days when they had diphtheria and Hitler.

You heart, when you,ve spent 50 years sitting at a desk eating chocolate, is a fatty, amorphous blob which cannot be expected to cope should you suddenly decide to take up golf. And it certainly won't able to cope the first time you catch a glimpse of yourself in those stupid strides.

Remember this: exercise of any kind is dangerous. Even horizontal jogging can be hazardous.

Time and time again, people with a predilection for wearing yellow lycra tell us that we must look after ourselves, that we must give up smoking, that we must run everywhere and that red meat is evil.

And who is that man who jumps up and down on breakfast television?

Look. During my younger years, i smoked 78,000 cigarettes and drank perhaps 8,000 cans of coke. I rarely did anything strenuous - except that - and here i am in 2010, fit, fat and happy, though i will admit that in a morning, I do sometimes produce the most enormous docker's oysters.

Now, compare this state of affairs to my more agile and sporty friends who, throughout our younger years together, jogged to school, trained twice a week, went to the gym and play rugby. And all of them ended up injured in some unpleasant way.

This meant they couldn't carry on being sporty and, as a result, all their muscle has turned to fat. They still have broken knees, wonky spines and jogger's nipple.

They don't smoke so they're on edge. They don't drink coke as much as i am so they're dull. And pretty soon, they're all going to take up golf and die of a heart attack.

In my past life i have skied occasionally and each time some part of me was working has stopped. Once i broke my thumb. And most of my right knee is still in Val D'Isere.

I have done some karting but always, always, always end up headbutting a wall. Which hurts.

I once went fishing and just when we were about to come home, a 30 kilogram stingray took a fancy to the plastic octopus I'd been dangling in the water and it took me six hours to land the damn thing. My hand were bleeding and i was sick twice.

Just recently, i'm thinking about to learn how to scuba dive. But after quite sometime 'Google'ing i figured out that it is not a sport, as all you do is hang around, weightless, looking at the fishes and coral. Apart from the bit when you jump off the boat, it's completely effortless, and furthermore, you can't possibly hurt yourself under water, unless a shark eats your leg.

Unfortunately, I was wrong. After a bit more 'Google'ing, i found out that there are currents which are pretty handy for moving you away from the boat but a damn nuisance when you want to get back. Ideally you wait for the tide to change but as you will getting through a tank of air in 15 minutes, this was not an option.

Also, you maybe will ended up cutting your foot and bled like a stuck pig. And you will have bruises on your knee because of your effort getting back into the boat and your ear which even after three weeks, still thinks it's 75 feet down and won't pop back to one bar.

Now, I would not never ever hurt myself when i'm sleeping or slouched in front of the television. So that, from now on is where you'll find me.

And to make sure i always take the car, even when i'm popping down to the corner shop for more fags. I have bought one of those American traffic light things to hang over my front door. It says, simply, Don't Walk.

I understand that as a result, I shall die earlier than might have been the case if I'd spent every waking moment down at the gym, grunting.

But i shall have had a happy life and i shall toddle off before Alzheimer's sets in and before i'm humiliated with the need for an incontinence bag.

Sunday, April 4, 2010


gua kagum ngan membe gua sorang ni
die cukup pantas da efisien dalam meneliti kelemahan seseorang
gua kagum sebab die boleh hapal ape yang orang tu cakap
walaupun mende tu da bertahun2 lamanya
semata2 nak bahan si fulan tu balik

tp itu je la yang die terer dan yang gua kagum...lain paham2 je la